Awareness.

Desire is a word often mistaken for the weaving of a dream and while there is no problem with having that desire in a conscious manner, there is a double-edged sword in the action. As well, it is often misconstrued to be based solely on lofty wants or goals when in actuality, every single choice you have in every single moment is a desire.

‘I will eat cereal’, ‘I want to become a better Sunil’, ‘I will attend yoga class’ and so on & so forth. This is conscious desire… The intensity of an action while moving forward through life in a straight line, no supporting thoughts, just clear wants and essentially; wills.

The second side to desire is compulsiveness and comes based solely on reaction. When you constantly go over things in your mind, stress over things said to you or done to you or some psychological mess you have created for yourself because if you do this, this will happen. This side of desire rears its ugly head when you’ve been judged, judged yourself or assume the gain of tangible matter will somehow enhance your life.

I had someone who was once very close to me write me a cut off letter with a final parting insult of calling me a ‘Narcissistic Pervert’. At first, the insult-riddled letter was met with a chuckle as a lot of the content was outlandish and assumed. However considering the author, I couldn’t believe the words written and began to compulsively dissect every sentence and allow it to affect my person. I began to believe everything that was written because this person knew me inside and out so to think that after all these years, that this was their general concensus of me, I was besides myself.

This reaction was my desire at its’ ugliest.

I see myself as a man who tends to live in a straight line, patiently ascending to the light. However, I am not without fault or flaw and I do tend to catch myself overthinking or obsessing occasionally to which then my awareness kicks in and I am able to break free. It was not without practice but it certainly is possible.

Let me put in a simpler way for you. Someone says to you that you’re an ‘asshole’ for whatever reasons they feel compelled. If English wasn’t your main language, you may have thought they were saying Hello! If your parents named you ‘Asshole’, you will have thought only positive things about the word or name. And this is just it.

People who call you names or create actions against you, in poor taste, are creating a platform for reaction. The intensity of your reaction bares no leg to stand on without desire just like your wants and wills and so their attacks are rendered baseless and truly have no ‘desired effect’ on you.
Remove the fluff that surrounds everything you encounter in life and you will find joyfulness in the simplicity of life. Desire all you want, just be mindful and do all these desires with a pure heart/intention and see your life for what it really is…

Yours.

Inspired from the   Bali Silent Meditation, Penatahan, Bali, Indonesia